Anatomy of a sales scripts – three versions

You can review three versions of a prospecting script for a local home improvement company.

The first version is longer and has more specifics as to the what we do, credibility, benefits and the ask. My comments and what I want you to think about follows.

First version – longer

Hi, this is Drew from FixIt. Thousands in the East Yazoo area have selected us for siding, roofing, and kitchen and bath projects as they get complete information on all their options and pricing, experienced advice, and professional workmanship.

If a repair, upgrade or energy efficiency project might be in your future, we would like to introduce ourselves and provide you with specifics as to the grades, styles, and trends.

You would get expert advice from a 20-year professional in home improvements, an on-the-spot quote, financing, and a lifetime guarantee. There is no obligation, and I guarantee you will get a lot of helpful information. Might you have a future project you wish to discuss?

1. Write your first version with all your good stuff in it. Do not worry about length on a first draft. Worry about getting as much of your good stuff in there as possible.

2. With your rewrites and new versions you try to do two things. Shorten it up but also write it so that it will flow well out of our mouth.

3. This first draft was written after input from the team as to what buyers responded to. Yes, this first version is long but literally every phrase packs a punch.

4. Do not start to write a sales script with the idea that “it can’t be too long.” Start with writing a version the includes all your best stuff in terms of what you do, benefits, credibility and your ask. It is with your rewrites you try to shorten it, while keeping as much of the punch as possible.

5. Note with all three script versions the emphasis is on future projects. It is far more likely that a homeowner had a future project in mind, than a current project. If the emphasis was only on prospects that had a project now, this project probably would have failed.

View two shorter versions of the above script here

Shorter version A

Hi, this is Drew from FixIt Home Improvements. 2,500 homeowners in the Wazoo area have selected us as we have an A+ Better Business Rating and 35 years experience. Would you like to hear some choices and maybe a quote on a future home improvment project?

Shorter version B

Hi, this is Drew from FixIt Pros. If you have a siding, roofing, or home improvement project, I would like to provide you with information on your choices and a quote. We have been in business 87 years and have an A+ Better Business rating. Is there anything we might help you with in the future.

Comments on the shorter versions.

Version A the emphasis is credibility right up front. 2,500 homeowners.

Note the ask, would you like to hear some choices? Provide you with information on your choices. Prospects want to feel in control, words such as choices, options, provides them control and people love to hear their options.

Am typically not a fan of mentioning years in business, typically, if that is all you got it is pretty lame. But in this instance it was part of what works.

When you write scripts start with a longer more full version. Pack in all your best phrases and specifics. It is with your rewrites that you shorten things up and decide what phrases would be more powerful